Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
