Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
