he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
