3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize