I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
