we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
