i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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