I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
