Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
