I must be too annoying 4 u.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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