i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
