I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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