I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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