I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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