1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize