State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
