After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry about my life...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
