He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
