He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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