Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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