So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
