batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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