I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
