If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
