Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
