you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
