White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
