i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
