I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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