he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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