google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
