So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
