I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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