i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
