I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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