this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
