She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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