Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
