i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
