That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
