His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
