You can't special order awesome
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
