How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
