Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize