Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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