I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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