i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
