the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
