Rock
Scissors
Fuck
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize