Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
