The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
