so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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