Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
