Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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