i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize