I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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