Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
