Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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