Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
